David, thank you. I share pieces like this because I don’t want goodness to feel mythical or out of reach. It lives in the small, steady places we’ve been trained to overlook. If anything in this felt intimate, it’s because it came from lived truth, not decoration. I’m grateful you could feel that.
This means a lot. I wrote this piece from a place that sits far under the surface, so seeing that it reached you in that deeper register tells me the work landed the way it needed to. Thank you!
Your grandmother lives on in you through the DNA passed down to you which is no different than had you and she shared space and built memories together; but I agree you were robbed, all three of you, so it is a testament to love itself that you have built on that foundation to create a living, breathing memorial, a tribute to her in the form of the tattoo you carry with you into every space you enter, whether it is visible to others or not. You are a vehicle for her, and your father continues to bridge the gap that existed for the two years before your birth, so he is also a living testament to her.
I hope you won't be offended if I go so far as to suggest that if re-incarnation is a thing (I'm inclined to believe it, but I'm a Buddhist and part of the reason I am is that re-incarnation resonated with me long before I was aware of the word) I would not be suprised if your grandmother chose to come back through you. Sincere apologies if I have over-stepped.
The words "Evil lacks humility because humility requires honesty" are the ones I chose to pick out of this treasure-trove of an essay. Three things I had already read today made much of the honesty required for humility. Humility is a quality I value highly and aspire to uphold in my own life. My tendency to honesty can come across pretty heavy-handed at times, so humility may soften me up enough for my words to be more palatable if I live long enough (I'm approaching 71).
Thank you channelling your grandmother, and sharing the bond you have with your father in the process. Please keep writing. Your vulnerability is most heart-warming in these dark days.
Calandra, thank you for this! The way you held my grandmother’s absence and named what love still makes possible felt like a kind of blessing. I have always believed that what we inherit is not limited to memory, so hearing you reflect on DNA, on the living memorial a body can become, landed deeply.
And I was not offended by what you said about reincarnation. If anything, I took it as the highest kind of reverence, an attempt to make sense of a love that outlived its vessel. I do not know what I believe about where we return or how, but I do know that my grandmother’s spirit feels older than the years she lived. If your reading is true, it would not surprise me.
The line you pulled, “Evil lacks humility because humility requires honesty,” came from a place of cost. Humility is hard-earned for all of us. The fact that it is a quality you value, and keep choosing, says everything about the kind of person you are.
Thank you for witnessing the bond between my dad and me with such care. And thank you for naming my vulnerability without turning it into spectacle. Your words were a light today.
Thank you for sharing such intimate parts of yourself. Genuine, unadorned goodness and immovable character are a rarity in our superficial culture.
David, thank you. I share pieces like this because I don’t want goodness to feel mythical or out of reach. It lives in the small, steady places we’ve been trained to overlook. If anything in this felt intimate, it’s because it came from lived truth, not decoration. I’m grateful you could feel that.
There’s a line running through this piece … that goodness doesn’t perform, it endures.
I felt that in my bones.
The way you wrote about inheritance… that’s not sentimentality, that’s survival wisdom passed hand-to-hand.
Some essays illuminate. This one remembers for us.
Thank you, Taylor.
This means a lot. I wrote this piece from a place that sits far under the surface, so seeing that it reached you in that deeper register tells me the work landed the way it needed to. Thank you!
Your grandmother lives on in you through the DNA passed down to you which is no different than had you and she shared space and built memories together; but I agree you were robbed, all three of you, so it is a testament to love itself that you have built on that foundation to create a living, breathing memorial, a tribute to her in the form of the tattoo you carry with you into every space you enter, whether it is visible to others or not. You are a vehicle for her, and your father continues to bridge the gap that existed for the two years before your birth, so he is also a living testament to her.
I hope you won't be offended if I go so far as to suggest that if re-incarnation is a thing (I'm inclined to believe it, but I'm a Buddhist and part of the reason I am is that re-incarnation resonated with me long before I was aware of the word) I would not be suprised if your grandmother chose to come back through you. Sincere apologies if I have over-stepped.
The words "Evil lacks humility because humility requires honesty" are the ones I chose to pick out of this treasure-trove of an essay. Three things I had already read today made much of the honesty required for humility. Humility is a quality I value highly and aspire to uphold in my own life. My tendency to honesty can come across pretty heavy-handed at times, so humility may soften me up enough for my words to be more palatable if I live long enough (I'm approaching 71).
Thank you channelling your grandmother, and sharing the bond you have with your father in the process. Please keep writing. Your vulnerability is most heart-warming in these dark days.
Calandra, thank you for this! The way you held my grandmother’s absence and named what love still makes possible felt like a kind of blessing. I have always believed that what we inherit is not limited to memory, so hearing you reflect on DNA, on the living memorial a body can become, landed deeply.
And I was not offended by what you said about reincarnation. If anything, I took it as the highest kind of reverence, an attempt to make sense of a love that outlived its vessel. I do not know what I believe about where we return or how, but I do know that my grandmother’s spirit feels older than the years she lived. If your reading is true, it would not surprise me.
The line you pulled, “Evil lacks humility because humility requires honesty,” came from a place of cost. Humility is hard-earned for all of us. The fact that it is a quality you value, and keep choosing, says everything about the kind of person you are.
Thank you for witnessing the bond between my dad and me with such care. And thank you for naming my vulnerability without turning it into spectacle. Your words were a light today.